


Please don't forget me.

by 6uma (alphatabris)



Category: Kagerou Project
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-11
Updated: 2014-05-11
Packaged: 2018-01-24 08:22:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,710
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1598138
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alphatabris/pseuds/6uma
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It’s hard when people change, but it’s even harder when they become unrecognisable.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Please don't forget me.

The cicadas nearby were chirping loudly as Shintaro rolled around in his sleeping bag. The tent

floor was rough and he was cold, no matter how tightly he wrapped his jacket around him. It was supposed to be _Summer_ , he thought, as he looked over to the soft light of the girls tent.

There were three in there, Ayano, Takane and the nurse who was hired to look after Takane and Haruka if anything went wrong.

There hadn't been, thank goodness. The boy sleeping next to him had apparently improved drastically over the past three months from some unknown source, so all four friends decided to celebrate with some sort of outing.

And it just _had_ to be a camp up in some resort, didn't it, Shintaro internally moaned as he felt once again for the phone that was confiscated by Ayano prior to the trip.

“ _What's a camp if you're going to spend the entire time staring at a screen? Leave it!”_ Well it sure worked out great, now he was supposed to deal with his fucked up sleeping schedule without any entertainment whatsoever.

Shifting again, Shintaro turned completely around only to jump when he found himself nose-to-nose with a wide-eyed Haruka.

“Aah, sorry Shintaro, did I startle you?” He blinked and leant away a bit. “I just couldn't sleep, you know. It's kinda cold.”

Shintaro swallowed. Haruka's face was illuminated by the soft light shining through the tent. He stared before remembering to answer.

“D-don't worry about it senpai, I can't sleep either. Sure doesn't seem like Summer all that much, huh?” They laughed weakly for a few seconds and then fell quiet. It stayed like that for while, a comfortable silence only littered by the insects and the occasional bird, until Haruka spoke again.

“So are... are you cold too?” Shintaro heard rustling from the other sleeping bag.

“Yeah.”

They both went quiet again.

“Do you want to come closer?”

“Huh?”

“I read that if you're closer to another human then you can warm up due to shared body heat.” His voice sounded awfully cheerful for such a weird gesture, and Shintaro had to stop for a second before he moved closer without a word, afraid he would make it even more awkward.

As soon as he got near, he felt Haruka's hand slipping into his own.

“What are you-”  
“It really is cold.”

“Yeah... I guess....” Shintaro looked back up to the other boys face. His eyes were closed and he had a small smile.

“I'm glad you came with me. The girls too really, but I wasn't sure you wanted to come.”

“H-hey, of course I did, you're getting better aren't you? We could have celebrated better, actually, like a party or-”  
“That was a lie.”

“Huh?”  
“A lie. I'm not... I'm not getting healthier.”

“But the doctors-”

Haruka shook his head. His facial expression remained the same, if a little strained.

“I... I already feel like I'm falling back to my previous state. I'll probably have to go to hospital after this again, so I'm really glad I got to spend this time with you.”

Shintaro was stricken with fear. He was already in constant worry with both him and Takane, scared that they would collapse any minute while he was around them, no matter what sort of heartless, selfish act he put on around others. When Haruka told them the news, all three of them felt relieved, but if Haruka was getting worse when they had just started to be happier together....

“Stop... stop joking, Senpai.”  
“I'm not. Please.”

Shintaro was shocked senseless. He almost felt like slapping that stupid smile off his face. He'd always been irritatingly positive for his situation, but even like this?

“I'm sorry.”

“Why didn't you tell us all at once? Why only me?”  
“I didn't want to worry the girls. Well, I didn't want to worry you either, but I guess...” Haruka laughed weakly, and Shintaro started to grow mad. He opened his mouth to say something again, but stopped himself when Haruka opened his eyes.

They were sad, so _regretful,_ and were misted over with tears.

“I told you because I wanted you to care. I told you.... because it's supposed to lead to... to...”

“What?” His tone was low and angered, and if Haruka didn't spit it out _right now-_

“Some sort of romance.”

Shintaro opened his mouth, but couldn't find anything to say. He felt his neck and face grow warm, before he was finally able to stutter out a response.

“I-I thought you, I thought you liked Takane?”

Haruka.... Haruka fucking _giggled_ and said, “That's the first thing you could think of? Really?”

“What? I just-”  
“It's fine. I know that she likes me, and I know it would be normal for me to return those feelings but I've never thought of her that way. I guess she's just been a really good friend.”

“Or you could just like boys.”  
“Or I could just like boys, yeah. Boys like you, specifically.” The look he then gave him was full of sincerity, but also nervousness, because the next sentence out of his mouth was “But you don't, do you?”

“I never said that,” Shintaro replied instantly. His heart had been beating faster ever since the other boy told him to come closer. Their hands were still interlocked, and he gripped it tighter, which made Haruka widen his eyes in surprise.

“Shintaro, I-”

“Ayano is too weird for me anyway. Girls are weird. We guys should stick together you know? And we can stick closer than the rest... I guess.”  
Haruka blinked a few times, then laughed.

“You're pitying me.”

“No I'm not!”

“That was one of the cheesiest sentences I have ever heard, you can't be serious.”

“Like you could do any better.”

Haruka didn't stop laughing, and after a few moments Shintaro cracked a smile and chuckled along with him. They slowly faded out and smiled at each other. He hoped Haruka didn't notice how red he was, although he couldn't deny the flush of red on the others cheeks either.

“Is it too early to kiss you?” Haruka's hand held tighter onto Shintaro's while he waited for an answer.

“Well it's not, not like it's going to change anything if we do it later.” He bit his lip and averted his gaze, before feeling Haruka's hand move to his cheek.  
They moved forward at the same time, awkwardly pressing their lips together until they found a comfortable position. They broke apart, not for air, but to laugh again.  
“We're really bad at that.”  
“Practice makes perfect, y'know.”

* * *

The cicadas nearby were chirping loudly in the bright afternoon sun.

Shintaro looked up and squinted against the sky. He hadn't heard cicadas for a very long time.

“It's hot...” He spoke, as if the white haired boy next to him would answer.

He closed his eyes and lowered his head back down. His phone had run out of battery, and Ene was nowhere to be seen. He decided to be glad about that, but now he was stuck with an amnesiac, two bags of slowly melting food between them and the continuous speakers saying “Bus number _ is delayed due to the weather. We apologise for any inconvenience.”

In and out, in and out, he tried to focus on breathing so he wouldn't get frustrated with the fact that there were _no_ _fucking buses in sight_ and Konoha didn't seem even slighty disturbed by their situation. How was he even able to wear those boots outside? Even Shintaro himself had tied his jacket to his waist.

Swinging his legs back and forth, he thought about his current situation. He was now a sort of errand boy of the Mekakushi-Dan, which meant he had a break with all the weird eye powers, but it also meant sitting in the heat of the middle of summer for people who had the audacity to ask him to buy _chocolate_ for them.

“Isn't it strange?”

Shintaro was so used to Konoha not speaking it took at least seven seconds for him to answer.

“What?”

“This.” Shintaro turned his head towards the other boy, but he was making no gesture towards anything.

“What's 'this'?”

“You can't feel it?”

“Feel what?”

“This.”

Shintaro turned his head back towards the ceiling of the shelter. There wasn't anything else to do, so he decided to humour him.

“No. What does it feel like?” It was offhanded, almost sarcastic.

“Nice.”  
“Nice?”

“Nice.”

He sighed heavily.

“How can it feel _nice?_ It's like 35 degrees or something.”

Konoha shook his head. “Not the weather. Inside me.”

“I-inside you?” Now this was just getting weird. “Where?”  
“In my... stomach? Or my chest. I don't know.”

“Well that's great. Maybe it's a parasite.”

“It feels nice to be with you.”

Shintaro blanched at how unexpected that was. He found himself with a new feeling too, a nostalgic one, but not happy.

“Uh... thanks?”

Konoha stayed silent, looking straight ahead of him, not moving a muscle. For someone who once tried to sleep in a washing machine, he looked unusually alert.

“Are... you okay?”

“I think I'm remembering something. Something quite far away.”

“Well, that's good isn't it?” The feeling was growing stronger by the second.

“It feels nice, but also sad.” He finally moved, turning towards Shintaro. “Being with you alone like this. In summer. But it was... night time.” He frowned in concentration. “There was something else, something I was saying to you.”

Shintaro bit the inside of his cheek, waiting for him to continue. When it became evident that he was still trying to remember, he tried to speed up the process a bit. Even if the feeling of dread was slowly rising, he couldn't help but feel some sort of hope that maybe, just _maybe,_ Konoha was having the same memory as him.

“Was it a confession?”  
“A... confession? Now that you mention it, yes. But what sort of confession? It is still very hazy.”

Shintaro looked down, at the shopping bag, the one thing separating their hands. He inched his closer, only to close it into a fist once Konoha spoke again.

“It made my heart beat fast, and my hands shake.” He smiled. A small one, and Shintaro's heart wrenched. “That doesn't seem like me.”

“There was something else.” Shintaro had his hands on his knees now, staring at the ground. _He could remember, he_ had _to remember._

“We... we held hands. Like this.” Konoha reached out take Shintaro's hand, and the other boy didn't resist.   
They both looked at them, joined together.  
“This memory must be very special to me.”

“Huh?”  
“To remember this much of it, even if it isn't clear, it must be good. Ah, there's another thing.” Konoha scooted over, leaning over to get close to Shintaro's face.

“Your face... looked really beautiful.”  
“What?”  
“That's what I was thinking. When we were like this. But then, then we...”  
“Kissed.”  
“That's right.”

Konoha blinked a few times, just as Haruka had, and Shintaro almost felt like crying.  
“Would you like to?” He looked quickly to Konoha's lips and back to his eyes, red eyes, eyes that caused him to lose all this.

“That's what the feeling is, isn't it?” He then closed the gap between them, and completed the memory.

Shintaro hadn't kissed anyone since Haruka, except when one time he got mouth-to-mouth with an overly-excited Kano when he fainted from the heat, so he couldn't say much for his kissing skills.

Konoha wasn't any better though, even _worse_ than Haruka, leaning against him with obvious enthusiasm, but no experience.

Shintaro broke away and hung his head.  
“What's wrong?” The white haired boy looked at him in concern when he started laughing.  
“Nothing, it's nothing.” He sighed and placed his head on Konoha's chest. “It's nothing.”

* * *

 

There were no cicadas chirping loudly nearby. It was empty silence, not one sound besides the resounding gunshots.

Shintaro gasped as he felt his back and head slam against a wall, coughing, struggling desperately to try and get the iron grip off his neck.

Tears were running down his face, the sick scent of blood was wafting from his friends. A phone crushed, corpses lying on the pavement and no other people in site, _why why why was this happening?_

“Do you know why I spared you?” The boy, black hair, red eyes, a disgusting, wide smile on his face and the gun discarded. He knew this boy, but he was not the same.

_This wasn't him._

“Do you? Shintaro? It's quite simple to guess, really.”  
Shintaro gritted his teeth. Even if he wanted to answer, he couldn't, because Kuroha was only letting just enough of his throat relaxed for him to breathe.

“Well, I guess you don't have to if you don't know. I can tell you.” He took a step closer, bending his arm but still managing to keep Shintaro pinned up by the throat.  
“Do you remember me, Shintaro? Do you remember me when I forgot all about you? Do you remember me when I was a weak, sickly little boy who could hardly stand on his own two feet? Do you?”  
Shintaro squeezed his eyes shut, trying to block out the sight of the man who had just massacred his only friends, but it didn't have any effect on ignoring his taunts.

_I don't have anyone left alive._

“Do you remember me? Being together, alone in the summer. Didn't you love me then?” Kuroha relaxed his grip a little, just a little, just enough for Shintaro to gasp for air and realise that he was wanted to talk.

“That... that wasn't you. I loved Haruka and Ko- gk!” Kuroha's hand tightened again.  
“Don't ever mention that name to me. Don't ever say the name of... of _that._ But, you are correct. They are not me. I am better, I am powerful. I can protect you. Don't you love me, Shintaro? Aren't I better than the rest of them? We can be alone together.”

Shintaro desperately tried to swallow, trying to make his throat stop burning, and shook his head, then was suddenly thrown to the ground.

He gasped in air, then tried to get up to run away, but Kuroha was faster and quickly held him down to the ground by his wrists, trapping them above his head.

“Even if you don't love me now, you will. I'll make sure of it.” Suddenly Kuroha's face was drawing closer, and Shintaro moved his head to face away, but was instantly turned back by the others hand.

He couldn't move anything but his eyes as Kuroha smashed their mouths together. Shintaro felt like throwing up as Kuroha's tongue slipped into him, moving it around his mouth like a snake. He tried biting him, but it had no effect.

As he finally drew back and grinned sadistically at him, Shintaro forced his mouth shut to stop himself.

“That is what lovers do.”  
“Lovers don't fucking kill people!” He felt new tears pouring down his face. Why him, of all people, why did this have to happen?  
“Lovers will do anything for each other. I have protected you, they were harmful.”

“How? How, you fucking _bastard,_ HOW?”

But there was no answer, nothing but that horrible, disgusting smile. He hated it, he hated this, why _him._

“I know... I know that somewhere in there, Haruka is still alive. I-if not, then Konoha has to be. Somewhere! I know you can stop this!” Shintaro was just shouting nonsense at him, he may as well be yelling at thin air.

But when he felt the boy relaxing his hold, he saw that his facial expression had changed, no longer smiling, but wide eyed and a slightly open mouth. Had he-?

Shintaro's suspicions were trashed when Kuroha slapped him hard with a scowl.  
“I said to _never. Mention. That name. In front of me._ ” He fell back into his normal grin and leaned in close. Shintaro tried to move his head away again, but it was plain that it was futile.

Their foreheads touched, and Kuroha closed his eyes.

“I will make you love me, even if I have to kill you to do so.” 

 


End file.
